I'm pregnant

I've been inspired to write a blog because two days ago, I took a home pregnancy test and the result was positive! Jason and I have been trying for about 5 months to get pregnant. There have been several times over the last 5 months that I was 1 or 2 days late and I'd quickly take a pregnancy test, only to be disappointed with a negative result. So, when I realized I was late this time, I didn't get my hopes up at all. I just started doing Weight Watchers again, I've been eating healthy and drinking so much water, I figured the change in diet made me late. I took the first test on January 6th, it came up negative. I e-mailed my aunt and told her I was late and wondered if all the water I've been drinking could have resulted in a false negative. She said it was completely possible so I decided to take another test on January 9th. I woke up at 4am, took the test and saw it in the window, "Pregnant". I stared at it in disbelief for several seconds and then I started shaking, I ran across the house to my husband and showed it to him. I couldn't help but cry. We are so incredibly happy!

We've told our family and closest friends, but I'm not planning to announce it to facebook or anyone else until I'm out of the first trimester. I realize that losses happen and I just don't want to tell people if that were to happen (God forbid!) After Jason left for work on Monday, I started researching pregnancy, and of course I came across all kinds of forums where people post about their pregnancies and miscarriages. Everything is so scary. I read a post on thebump.com titled, "How many tests have you taken?" There was not a single woman on that forum that hasn't taken at least 3. Some had taken 7, 8, 9 in just a few days.. some even lost count! They take several tests a day, every day just to confirm they are still pregnant. This would make me crazy, not to mention, those tests are expensive! I finally had to close the page and walk away.

I prayed to God and thanked him for this life inside me. I thanked him for giving me such a precious gift, for blessing me with the opportunity to be a mother. I asked him to keep my baby safe, help it grow to be healthy and strong, I asked him to be there for me and help me during this time. When I went to the grocery store yesterday I walked past the pregnancy tests and I was tempted to buy one. I thought, "What if I start spotting? My doctor appointment isn't until next week, what if I just took one test to confirm the pregnancy before that, just to reassure myself?" That's when I said, "No" I've decided to let go and put my faith in God. Sometimes that's hard to do, especially for me. I'm so hard headed and I'm a control freak. But I need to do it.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.


I know that God has a plan for us, and I will trust Him and lean on Him.